Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
