Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
