I got chris browned last night
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
