i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize