He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
