She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
