your thong is hanging out like whoa
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
