Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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