dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
