I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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