I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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