They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
