Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
