Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
