I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
