guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
