Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's on the porch naked. Help.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
