What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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