it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
