So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
