he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
