i wish there were pregnant emoticons
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize