went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It was confusing and full of hummus
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
