he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
