Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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