Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
