Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
