IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
