I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
