I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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