he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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