That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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