shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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