She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
