You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
