Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
