you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
