i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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