someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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