I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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