Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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