Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
