nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
