Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
