This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
