I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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