I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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