think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
