I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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