OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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