Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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