8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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