I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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