i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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