all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
