dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
