If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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