Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Rumble strips road head = magical
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
