One girl and one boy is just not enough.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize