I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
