I want to stick my p in your. b.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize