from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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