We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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