Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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