Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
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