The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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