She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I look better un-naked...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
